Listen, so long as everything is cool and consensual, what turns you on is totally your own business. That's because, similarly to kinks and fetishes, turn-ons are singular to every individual.
For one person, it can be super random—like seeing someone's tan lines. For another person, it could be something a bit more expected—like seeing a naked person stand in front of you. Either way, what makes you horny is simply what makes you horny.
But because not every turn-on has to be explicitly sexual for men, we've decided to dive deeper into the not-so-obvious things that get them going. You know, the more "random" things if you will. Below, you'll find a list of the non-sexual things that get men’s libidos going—and yes, some may surprise you.
Just remember that every guy is different and may have his own preferences, so if you're super curious if any of the below applies to the man you’re seeing, it's probs best to just ask him.
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When he hears you singing in the shower
Corey, 27, says it's "cute" and "playful" when his girlfriend sings in the shower. (It's also a total turn-on, he adds.) This might be more sexual than we think though because shower = naked, so...
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Wine
Totally not-surprising fact: Alcohol makes everyone horny. But wine? Yeah, wine is on a whole other level. "Red wine always gets me into trouble," says Josh, 28, who says one glass immediately gets him in a horny headspace.
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When you call him instead of text him
"The confidence of a woman who calls me to make plans instead of texting all day is sexy," says Henry, 34. Voices are inherently more attractive than reading paragraphs, anyway.
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Accents
Okay, everyone loves an accent—especially when it's significantly different than your own. "Australian accents are my weakness," says Tanner, 21.
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When you get vulnerable
Men get these things called "emotional boners." Matt, 30, says he got one when the subject of getting hitched came up with his then-new(ish) girlfriend. "We weren't having a serious talk about it, but I got an erection just at the thought of marriage," Matt recalls. "Even more confusing was that it happened multiple times after that."
Another example: For Carlos, 25, he got one when his partner was particularly heated while talking about stress at work. -
Tan lines
I don't know what it is about these sun-kissed lines that turn men on, but they seriously have a thing for the juxtaposition of colors they're seeing. "More people are just seemingly more attractive when tanner," says Kyle, 29.
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Athletic clothes
Whether you're coming back from the gym or working your athleisure post-grocery run, it's the double whammy of looking fit and sexy that really woos dudes. Plus, leggings accentuate the hell out of your booty, which is why it's a fave for Sam*, 34.
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Glasses
"It's probably something about looking more academic, but to be honest, a good pair of glasses just makes a woman's face more interesting," says Josef, 28.
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Baseball caps
Let's be real, dudes love their sports team. "Nothing is sexier than a cute girl sporting a baseball cap," says Arman, 28.
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Good grammar
Not to be the grammar police, but knowing the difference between there, their, and they're definitely shows. "If someone speaks really bad English, I end up just super agitated," says Alex, 28.
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That one song
You know, the one that takes him back because it was playing the first time he had an orgasm in the back of a car. Plus, everyone has that song (or songs) that gets them in the mood. Maybe it's a pulsing techno anthem or a rock song that feels sexy or a song that was on in the background when he had the best sex of his life.
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Getting a whiff of your perfume
Smell is the strongest sense tied to memory. Plus, perfume is designed to be attractive. If someone walks by and happens to smell like his partner or former lover, he's definitely wondering why he's so hot and bothered.
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Catching a glimpse of his own naked body
People love being naked. And although you might not admit to it, you've definitely caught a look at yourself on your way to the shower on a particularly good day and thought, Yeah, okay. Not too shabby.
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Eating a few slices of pumpkin pie...or strawberries...or oysters
The list of foods that double as aphrodisiacs is incredibly long (and often disputed). So while not everyone might want a side of orgasm with their slice of pumpkin pie, he probably has a food or two that does it for him.
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When you show up in a red dress
Yeah, there's a reason Valentine's Day is all about the color red. Studies show that it's the color most closely associated with arousal. So next time you're trying to seduce someone, throw on a red dress.
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Getting in a tickle fight while you're still in bed on a Sunday morning
This is technically a fetish, but it's an incredibly common one. Known as "knismolagnia," it's part of the reason you get into tickle fights with your partner.
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When you scratch his back
Yeah, this one is different enough to get its own name: acarophilia.
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Getting into bed with some new clean sheets on it
If you love sliding into a freshly changed bed, you're not alone. According to a UK survey, men and women both find clean sheets a turn-on. This might explain the appeal of hotel sex.
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Fear
Yeah, the fear boner is sort of real. It's supported by science (thanks, science!), but fear doesn't actually arouse you in a direct way like other things on this list. It's really a "misattribution of arousal." Basically, fear and arousal share certain elements in common (shortness of breath, a rise in blood pressure). You're scared, but your brain decides that maybe you're horny instead.
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When you throw on his dress shirt in the morning
There's something really sexy about a woman wearing one of his shirts. There shouldn't be any reason a beautiful woman putting men's clothes on turns them on, but here we are.
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If you know how to play guitar
Musicians are sexy. And pretty much any instrument counts, except for maybe the accordion. Actually, even accordions couldn't hurt.
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Being able to make him laugh
A great sense of humor is always sexy. I'd say the best foreplay is laughter, but that's not true. The best foreplay is oral sex.
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Confidence
There are few things sexier than a woman walking into a room and just dominating it. An outgoing, self-assured personality is like catnip, but for men.
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Witty conversations
Call it advanced flirting or verbal jousting if you prefer. But good conversation is sexy.
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When you're super passionate about your hobbies
You don't need to be super into the stereotypical "guy stuff" like video games or Star Wars. Being passionate about something—anything—is just sexy.
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This article originally appeared on Cosmopolitan.com. Minor edits have been made by the Cosmo.ph editors.
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