I Was Scammed By My Online Match And I Lost A Seven Figure Investment

It was during the last round of very strict lockdown in August 2021 when I started using a dating app. As an NBSB, I have been very cautious when it comes to relationships. Ideally, I would like to meet *the one* organically. But it felt like the pandemic would never end and I started to accept that the reality now is ~digital~. Maybe finding love online is not as bad as I initially thought—so I kept swiping (more seriously).

I have matched with countless people online before and most of them are just looking for fun. So when I found a match with ~pure intentions~, it was a breath of fresh air. I thought his intentions matched his looks as well. I found him to be a sincere, warm, gentleman. Not too pogi and not celebrity standard, but he looks like the guy my mom would like. Sakto lang. He was not aggressive and he was able to keep up with me.

He was a construction materials trader daw by profession—a Taiwanese expat staying for almost a year then in his apartment in Mandaluyong. He said he had so much time on his hands now 'cause their business was affected by the pandemic and workload is not as heavy. He lived alone with his cat.

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Our conversations lasted from July 30 until August 17, 2021. Within that time, we talked every day. He would light up my morning and cheer me on if I have anything to rant about. He would be very understanding if I was busy and would not expect if I don't respond promptly. He said and showed many impressive hobbies, interests, and philoposophy in life—all of which I was inclined into as well. We had substantial and relatively deep conversations about life, family, and values. We clicked in all aspects and our relationship progressed very quickly.

At that time, I was also trying to learn crypto trading and I brought it up with him.
Incidentally, it was something he had been doing for four years and was also his side hustle. I asked him if he could teach me and he offered to ask me to *copy trade* with him. He diligently guided me to create my accounts in Binance App (where he buys crypto) and BitcoinEx App (a separate app where he trades).

We clicked in all aspects and our relationship progressed very quickly.

I was blown away when I earned P1,000 from my initial investment of P10,000.00 using these apps. He encouraged me to put more just as he did. He said a good trend is about to come up so I invested the maximum the bank allows every day. I pinched myself every time. I couldn't believe I found someone who would make me feel very appreciated and *rich* at the same time. I would always go to bed at night with his promises to see each other once the lockdown is over, and that our first meeting would be the most important thing! Then came the time he agreed to set a date to meet up after he gets his first vaccine dose.

I couldn't believe I found someone who would make me feel very appreciated and *rich* at the same time. 

As someone who was trying to be responsible about the meet-up, I told a friend (for the first time about this guy). She told me to be cautious. She asked if I knew his social media account, how long we've been talking, and what he was like. I shared that the guy refused to video call whenever I ask him 'cause the first meeting was so important to him.

She was alarmed at how little I knew about the guy. My friend encouraged me to video call him and see if he would pick up. So I did, and that night he picked up, he showed his face for three seconds and got mad at me for forcing him to do it. This was our first fight and all of a sudden it came to me: This person might not be real, and so is the money I invested.

I attempted to withdraw from the BitcoinEx app, and that was when I learned that this was a fake app and my seven-digit investment is gone. I spent all night until the next day trying to figure out how this was real. I went to reddit and found similar cases around the globe and found that this was a big industry and scheme called the Pig-Butchering or Sa-Zhu-Pan Scam. I was just one among hundred reported cases. 

I was dumbfounded and sleepless. I had panic attacks for a couple of days knowing that I was just catfished and a victim of an investment scam. It was very painful both for my heart and my wallet. But at that time, it hurt my soul the most. I was wrong about him. I was shameful about being motivated by money and getting involved in a ~fake love~.
I thought this was a fairy tale come true and a good story of hope in the midst of my loneliness for 30 years, aka my salvation to the pandemic. It turned out to be a complete horror story.

In terms of red flags, everything was too good to be true! Here are just some of the things that got *ticked* on my "major red flags checklist."

• He was so diligent and patient, especially when he guided me step-by-step in creating my account.
• He asked me what he could bring my mom when he visits. (I mean, that was sweet but it felt *too soon*??)
• He did not have time to name his cat.
• For the two weeks we have been talking, hindi humahaba yung hair niya!
• We would talk on Viber, and his status would always be "typing in PC…"
• I tried to refer him to get vaccinated and he just said he will get one after all Filipinos get theirs. 
• He said he would marry me already after two weeks of talking!
• His English is sometimes fluent and then would be grammatically incorrect. (I thought he was just translating via Google, pero yun pala they were a team working on me!) 

I was kilig pa when he said I did not have to learn Chinese! I was seriously considering it.

To be honest, I had an idea that the app was fake but still, I chose to believe him.

He prepared his own dishes all the time but it looked restaurant-grade.

There were so many planted questions such as this one:

He would call me "Little Lazy Pig." I found it odd but I let it go and he was probably laughing all the time. Apparently to him, I was just "a pig waiting to be butchered." I honestly did not know online budol could be this traumatic and drastic.

My advice? Well, as the famous saying goes, "Trust, but verify." Talk to your friends. Trust your gut, but be critical, vigilant and patient. The fact is I became infatuated with a guy I just met online and trusted him with financial information without verifying his identity. I even tolerated him to get access with doors wide open.

I would have seen these red flags if I kept my eyes open, and have had anybody else to talk to. Instead, I chose to live in a bubble as I did not want to burden anyone else with my issues anymore. So I chose a stranger online. I gotta admit, I did have the wrong idea of courage and vulnerability.

Even our own feelings can trick us.

I know it's easier to decide based on emotions as they come naturally to us, but sometimes, even our own feelings can trick us. It wouldn't hurt to be rational towards the situation. After everything that has happened, the most important lesson I've learned is to not just trust yourself fully, but also verify your feelings. Ask yourself: Does it make sense? Is that valid? Were they manipulated? Continue to ask questions, and don't progress if you don't have a definite answer.

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Source: Cosmo PH