Even though Freud's theory of penis envy is so very wrong, it's a moot point anyway because now, with a lil dildo shopping session, you can hook yourself up with your own damn penis. With your own penis, not only can you stick it to the Man (perhaps literally), but using a strap-on dildo is actually pretty fun.
When you are be-dicked, you get to muck about with gender roles, power, and the traditional ideas of the fucker vs. fuckee. Plus you're giving your partner a stellar experience as well. People with a prostate can completely lose it when their prostate is simulated (like say, when a dildo is in their butt), experiencing super intense orgasms, like the best of their lives, with hard contractions and truly geyser-like orgasms. And if you're the one wielding the dildo causing such mayhem, all the better. (Here's what six women said it's like pegging their partner.)
And even though the term “pegging” initially meant a woman wearing a strap-on to penetrate a man, you can absolutely go ahead and give your girlfriend a little of your sweet D as well. You can penetrate them anally or orally, or make them give you a blow-job (though you won't feel much physically, psychologically this is a boss ass move). Just don't mix n' match between holes—institute firm a “one dick, one hole” policy.
What you'll need:
- A strap-on dildo. If your partner is a bit skittish about a super realistic penis, start with a dildo that's specifically designed to look non-dick-like and has a nice little curve.
- A harness or specially-designed undergarments to hold your dick. Look for something with a spot to hold a bullet vibe, if you want an extra buzz while thrusting away.
- Lube. Ever so much of it.
Whether you're a master of the dildic arts or just gamely giving it a first time go, here are some way of going in.
The First Timer
Have your partner get into doggie with their face and arms down on the bed. If you're going in anally, go incredibly slowly, letting them guide how deeply you go. (It can take a super long time for your partner to relax. This is COMPLETELY normal. Be patient!) Just keep adding lube and you're good.
The Starter Gun
A seated position is another good beginner position because your partner can control how much is going on, backdoor-wise. It's also one of the more romantic pegging positions because it's super conducive to gazing into each other's eyes and sharing deep kisses.
The Strap-On Stroke
If you're on top, you can watch how your partner is taking it all, plus they have their hands free to masturbate as you thrust. Go ahead and join them. If you don't have a harness with a spot for a bullet, go ahead and jam one down the front—the harness will hold it in place. (Note: Sometimes people with a penis go soft when they're penetrated—not because they are not enjoying the hell out of it but because, biology. Others get super hard. Again, biology. Check in with your partner to see how they're feeling.)
Miss Bossy Pants
If you're feeling extra bossy, pop some comfy pillows on a desk or table, bend your partner over it and tell them to hold on tight. You might need to bind their wrists to make your point. Enter from behind and hike a leg up on the table for leverage (and also just to feel like a bad-ass.) But before you go all in, toy with them a little first. Touch them, kiss them, play with them. Don't let them have you until they're begging.
The Daring Dip
Have your partner lie flat on their belly, with arms over their head. Squat over them and go to town. You'll be on tiptoe, bracing your hands on the ground or their back. For more stimulation, they can hump their hand or a toy.
Watch And Learn
Sit on the edge of the bed, legs spread wide and lube up your silicone boner, letting your partner watch. Have your back up until they're sitting on your lap. They can control how deep they go and you can also generously give them a reacharound. If you sit on a nice buzzy vibe at the same time, you will both be moaning in about two seconds.
Going On A Bender
This a good beginner pose because it's pretty easy to see where you need to go. Your partner can steady themselves by putting their hands on his thighs, but if the whole must-engage-thighs-of-steel aspect is too much, they can brace themselves on the back of a chair, table, etc. Hold onto their hips and behold the joy of fucking someone, hard.
The Steamy Stream-On
The shower offers the general sexiness of soapy slipperiness plus the distinct advantage of immediate clean-up afterwards. The keys to a successful wet peg are making sure everyone is holding onto something sturdy and being 8 billion percent certain that all your equipment is safe for water use — aka submersible and not just splash-proof.
Reverse Cowboy
In this position—kind of a reverse-reverse cowgirl—your partner gets to control how fast and deep they takes your silicone love. They'll also have a free hand or two to rub themselves as they ride you. Caveat: no stimulation happening for you here—except, you know, the joy of blowing someone's mind—so pop in a nice little vibe so you're not just lying there staring at their (happy) ass.
The Classic
If you're both turned on by consensual power play, The Classic is the way to go. Your partner is bent over in a submissive position and is going to have to take what you have to give them, dammit. It is also easy to dole out a spanking if they're not doing your bidding. Go ahead and commit to it, reveling in your badassery and they will be quite eager to please you, dear Mistress.
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This article originally appeared on Cosmopolitan.com. Minor edits have been made by the Cosmo.ph editors.
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Source: Cosmo PH
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